As we near the end of summer and face the onset of autumn, this is an excellent time to continue our reflection of my Five Focus Points for Dealing with and Overcoming Burnout/Stress. You may recall that in last month’s newsletter, we talked about the first two points (Rediscover the Joy and Ask Yourself What Has Changed). Click on the link above to revisit these two focus points in more detail.
The transition from one season to another can bring about stress; perhaps none more so than when the shortening daylight hours combined with cooler temperatures bring more shadows and darkness. Emotionally, we may not
be ready for the change of seasons and our worries about what we did not accomplish in the warmth of summer and its long days. These five focus points will help ease the transition and will help identify stress and potential burnout through healthy coping techniques. Give yourself a little time to implement each point and fold all of them into your routine. I am also sharing some of my own experiences and steps along my journey to help illustrate these points.
Number 3: Take inventory – Acknowledge where you are and where you want to be. Be realistic, not idealistic.
After 10+ years of practicing law, I was miserable. Outwardly I was successful, a partner in a nationally ranked firm, a niche practice area, making deals, and traveling about collecting
‘stuff,’ but internally I was unhappy and languishing. I thought the need to be a good lawyer (and a good provider for my family) meant working incredibly long hours, with little time for self-care; and my devotion to work contributed to the deterioration of my marriage. I was very competitive: vying with my peers for recognition, prestige, and money, and failing to be a strong mentor to younger attorneys. The irony: devoting time to the young lawyers would have given me space to delegate and
ease the crush of my stressors. I felt stuck. The harder I worked; the further behind I fell and the deeper the burnout. I lost the passion for my work—and without my work, who was I? Instead of fostering healthy coping skills, I turned to a combination of drinking and working longer and harder – more was never enough.
Then, I stopped and took stock. I looked at where I was in my life and my personal well-being and created a plan for change—which was a big step towards reversing my burnout and implementing positive changes in my life and my approach to it. It was a long journey, one step at a time, with the help of a lot of friends.
Number 4: Don’t believe everything you think – The amygdala is that part of the brain which controls your fight, flight or freeze response. The immediate or short-term ‘gut reaction’ is made without taking in all the facts. Essentially, you don’t always know what you think you do. For example, when you are consistently bumping heads with a work colleague--breeding frustration and bad feelings—many of us would jump to the assumption
that the colleague does not like us or doesn’t respect our work. But perhaps the colleague is going through something in their personal or work life which has thrown them off kilter and work conflicts could be easily corrected with a kind conversation.
Take a breath. Allow time for reflection and understanding and allow space for other people’s realities. I have found through trial and error that when I look for a way to understand my colleague’s position, I find a better way to cope.
Number 5: Into Action – After following the first four steps, it is time to take action. Action brings clarity. Mindfulness techniques like breathing, meditating, exercise and journaling/creating a gratitude list bring perspective. Clarity of thought and perspective gives you the opportunity for reflection and to reverse
burnout.
If you have made it to Number 5, it is my hope that you are beginning to see a path forward out of burnout and away from the crush of work and life stressors. I began using daily meditation and taking positive steps in my physical and mental health—including entering recovery and using distance running as a stress reliever.
Another important step along my personal path is my desire to coach others and share what I have learned. From coaching someone to their first marathon or personal record to coaching professionals through burnout and reconnecting with their passion for their careers—it is important to take all these things one step at a time.
Finally, taking time for yourself and for your loved ones is incredibly important whether you are experiencing stress and burnout or not. Next month I will share more about that and how I will spend the rest of September. Thank you for staying with me on this journey—please see below for some exciting plans on the horizon.
